Should a Christian Attend a Same Sex Wedding?

In June 2015 the United States Supreme Court will announce their decision about same sex marriage for the country. This decision will impact the nation in a way unprecedented, not only in American history, but for the world. Never has there been a redefinition of holy matrimony in this manner.

If you are a believer and the kind of person that a homosexual would invite to their wedding, then you are likely demonstrating the nature of Jesus and emulating the love He has for all men and women. Jesus ministered to sinners and although He commanded repentance, He treated them with respect and concern. Jesus was well known as a friend of sinners. This fact should encourage all of us. We are sinners in need of the grace, mercy and truth He alone provides.

Marriage is the God-ordained, covenant union of one man and one woman into holy matrimony. The purpose of marriage is the God-ordained plan for procreation and family development. God uniquely made man from the dust of the earth and woman from the man.

In the plan of God we learn that it is not good for man to be alone. Therefore God made the woman to be the compatible companion for man. The two persons—male and female—being joined together as one before God, provide the complimentary unity of the man and woman, enhancing human fulfillment and the necessary procreative biological design needed for family development.

Marriage and its associated human sexuality is God’s designed method for procreation. The term “matrimony” derived its meaning and origin in the Latin, and is in effect, “the making of a mother.” Therefore, marriage is God’s design for the unity and fulfillment of a man’s relationship with one woman for the purpose of procreative family development.

Human sexuality is designed for procreation. It is not intended simply as a pleasurable exercise for human satisfaction. Sexual pleasure is designed by God to encourage sexual activity for God’s purposes in procreation. Although this is not the only benefit, it is the fundamental purpose.

Sexual activity is limited to the marriage union. It is not a recreational activity and is not intended to be engaged in with anyone other than the spouse of the married person. Sex for pleasure has been the downfall of mankind and civilizations from the earliest history.

It is commonly believed that sex is designed for fun and intended solely for that purpose. Therefore, sexual activity has been perverted into many forms unintended by our Creator. Homosexuality, bestiality, and self-gratification, et al. are the result of this mindset. This is proven true by the simple fact that procreation cannot occur while engaging in the activities named above.

Therefore, as Christians we believe that same sex marriage does not and will not fit into the biblical model. Furthermore, because fornication is strictly forbidden in the Scriptures, the move to redefine marriage in our culture is, for some, an effort to remove the “fornication problem” as it is understood. In other words, married persons cannot be accused of fornication, and therefore marriage of a same sex couple would remove the “sin.” This is certainly not the motivation of all who desire to wed a person of the same sex, but is does fit into the equation for those “gay couples” who profess faith in Christ and have rationalized (and therefore justified) their propensity for same sex relationships as God-given (i.e. “I was born this way”).

Some same sex couples desire to wed for tax purposes, employment benefits, et al., and for others, the desire is to demonstrate monogamous commitment to the union. Whatever the motivation, the marriage of same sex persons is strictly condemned in the Bible.

In Scripture, marriage is symbolic of the relationship Christ has with His Church. Therefore, same sex marriage is, in addition to all the mentioned above, an assault on the foundational model given us from the beginning of creation and is an affront to God.

Therefore, we believe that Christians should neither sanction nor participate in a same sex wedding.

In Ephesians we read, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” Ephesians 5:11–12 (NKJV)

The word for fellowship used herein is a verb. It means to have “fellowship and participation.” It implies fellowship or sharing with someone or in something. The word in Greek is “συγκοινωνέω” and is to be associated in some joint activity, with the implication, in some contexts, of a somewhat enduring relation—‘to participate with, to be in partnership with, to associate with.’ μὴ συγκοινωνεῖτε τοῖς ἔργοις τοῖς ἀκάρποις τοῦ σκότους ‘do not associate with that which is worthless, things that belong to darkness’ Eph 5:11.

This can be best illustrated by recognizing that same sex marriage is in defiance of God even as is idol worship. Paul teaches the believer about idol worship in 1 Corinthians 8 where we read,

“For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols? And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.” 1 Corinthians 8:10–12 (NKJV)

Furthermore, in 1 Corinthians 10, we read,

“If any of those who do not believe invites you to dinner, and you desire to go, eat whatever is set before you, asking no question for conscience’ sake. But if anyone says to you, ‘This was offered to idols,’ do not eat it for the sake of the one who told you, and for conscience’ sake… ‘Conscience,’ I say, not your own, but that of the other…” 1 Corinthians 10:27–29a (NKJV)

It is understood that the context of these passages relates to eating meat offered to an idol. However, the passages illustrate the principle. In Scripture we do not have a direct teaching on the subject of attending a same sex wedding, because it is clearly understood that it is both unnatural and sinful.

Therefore, by principle we can see that believers are called to “have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them” (Ephesians 5:11) and to understand that the same sex wedding in and of itself does not defile the one attending the wedding. However, as believers in Christ, we are called to refrain from “fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness” (Ephesians 5:11) and “for conscience sake… not your own, but that of the other…” 1 Corinthians 10:28-29a.

A believer’s participation in a same sex wedding in effect endorses the act and therefore sends the message of support for sinful behavior.

Some would argue that the injunction developed herein would include refrain from association with gay and lesbian persons, et al. This is not suggested. We are called to love and share the love of Christ with all people. However, participation with and the condoning of homosexual behavior is forbidden.

In conclusion: Loving all people “sinner or saint” is the call of every believer. However, Christians should not go to or support a same sex wedding.

Paul D. Van Noy, Pastor
Candlelight Christian Fellowship